My fight against Lupus " a truthful soul "

True soul = you

When I read those words tears streamed down my face

they pierced through my heart

like an arrow. A gift of wisdom from my friend

Tracie at My Petite Maison...that she had left for me

one day in my comment section after reading

one of my posts.

{Frank Salas Photography}

 Lupus has taught me so much especially about

one's soul. Was I wandering

 through my days fighting this illness and being the

fire and light that I hoped

and prayed I would be?

 

My blog has always been a place that I could

bare my soul. To speak boldly and go before

another with honesty and not be afraid

of the thoughts of others.

When I entered into my

first remission before the holidays I prayed to God that

I would be grateful for each day and not 

for how long it would last.

Shortly after the new year began I noticed things

taking place within my body and knew that

my remission had come to an end.

  

 Last month our faith was tested

with a terrible migraine that

lasted for a few days and suddenly turned into

a 911 for us. I lost my vision in my right eye along with the use

of the entire right side of my body. After I was evaluated in

the emergency room the doctor told Mr. Dior that I was

 being transported by ambulance code three to a hospital that had

a Nuero surgeon waiting for me. They had a twenty minute window

to give me the best chance if I was having a stroke. After a tearful kiss

goodbye to my love Mr. Dior I was on my way.

 The ambulance ride was quite tramatic as many things began to get worse.

 My blood pressure and blood sugar was in a terrible place

and my mouth began to droop. 

Once I arrived so much started to happen

while they quickly performed test after test

and started injecting me with blood thinners.

 Thankfully and by God's grace the test results

showed no stroke had taken place but the Lupus was affecting the

neurological function of my brain.

The recovery took awhile with physical therapy and

and medication to gain back my mobility.

At this point my muscle tissue has been damaged in that area.

The past few weeks have been bittersweet...

This amazing man has been

my anchor and rock.

Twenty five years ago when we still were just friends

he would say to me " your gonna push me in my

wheel chair when I am old " we would laugh and now

as a married couple we are laughing

 through our tears knowing

it might be the other way around for us.

Life is beautiful no matter what cross

we are bearing there is beauty

to be unfolded in our hearts.

It is humbling to think an illness would feel

like a gift in your life but for me it truly is.

I have learned about healing in my

 own heart and how you cannot live

a life without grace.

 To love more deeply than I ever

thought possible and embrace my

  journey with God's perfect plan for my life.

When you pass through the waters I will be with you

And through the rivers, they will not overflow you

When you walk through the fire you will

not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you

Isaiah 43 : 2

To each of you who have given to

me your love, support and prayers

my cup runneth over...